Starvation
by JustMakeLeftTurns
Summary: "He wants to show the other nations just how easy it is to miss, just how dangerous it is. He wonders how long it will take them to notice." Anorexic!America. Bulimic!America. Slightly naive!America.


_**I don't like how this ended. And it sounds dumb, but think about it from America's slightly naïve perspective. I guess.  
**_

**Disclaimer: I don't own hetalia.**

OoOoOo

America has always been more intellectual than most. He's just good at hiding it. He has a reputation on being the dumb, loud one – and he actually likes it. He doesn't mind the mean things they say to him, or the jokes they tell about him, or the rumors they spread that eventually get back to him.

But one thing they say does bother him. If not for himself specifically, then for his people. He's called fat almost every day, and while he knows very well that he is not fat, he knows that some of his people – if they were told this – would take drastic measures. He himself is not like these people. When it's between feeling full and feeling empty, he'd rather feel full. Plus, a part of him feels like all the extra food he eats – not all McDonalds, like the others think – is to make up for the lack of food some of his people take in.

And this is what makes him cry on some nights. When he walks among his people and he spots someone who he knows isn't eating, he feels a part of him break. What has he done that has made his people think they are too fat? What has the media done, or other countries done? He doesn't understand, but he does his best to fix the problem.

He has programs all over the states to raise awareness for things like anorexia and bulimia. He has programs that will help those people. He himself will volunteer sometimes to talk to them and try and help them understand that they don't need to starve themselves. Sometimes, it works. Sometimes, it doesn't. Sometimes, people relapse. He does his best to save his people.

He's brought it up with the other countries before, but they never listen. He's tried it in various ways at various meetings. He's tried talking to the group, or talking to a trusted friend. But nothing seems to get through their heads. He wants them to understand what these people feel. He wants them to understand how hurtful being called fat is. After nearly a year of trying, he gives up and moves onto his next plan.

He hates himself for doing it, but it is probably the only way to get it through their thick heads how serious anorexia and bulimia are. He's scared – what if he ends up like his people, unable to stop? What if he affects his people, and they start starving themselves, too? How far is he willing to go with this? But he's a country, not a normal human, so he can't die from anorexia, and thus, he goes through with his plan.

He researches anorexia and bulimia and figures out, so to speak, how to be anorexic. He wants to show the other nations just how easy it is to miss, just how dangerous it is. He wonders how long it will take them to notice. And so he begins starving himself, making excuses as to why he can't eat, throwing up after meals, exercising more – a lot more. He hates himself and wants to stop, but the others haven't noticed, so he keeps going.

And then he grows to like it. He knows it's wrong, and he knows that his people's mindset has probably taken over his own judgment, but suddenly, it isn't just about proving a point anymore. It's about getting the others to stop calling him fat. It's about doing something productive – at least, that's what his slightly-more-screwed-up mind tells him. So when he's caught – by France, no less – he no longer has the will to stop on his own.

France tells England, and the two corner him and demand an explanation. So America gives them one, starting from his people to trying to prove a point. They tell him they understand now, and that he has to stop, because he might be hurting his people – not to mention, even if he's not human, he can still be hospitalized and fall into a coma when a human would be dead. America confesses that he doesn't want to stop anymore, that he's learned to want it, to need it.

England and France, brothers and parents both to America, are devastated. America understands why they're upset, and they understand why he did this stupid 'project' in the first place. So they all work together, slowly, until he's finally back to his old weight and he no longer has the urge to starve or puke.

Since then, most of the countries have stopped calling America fat, and have a greater understanding towards anorexia and bulimia. So America is, indeed, more intelligent than they believe – but even he needs help when he gets in too deep.


End file.
